working on figuring it out...

I did make it to India and I am back home and ready to go again. I wasn’t ready to come home could have stayed longer. It’s just such a wonderful feeling to see God working and using me of all people to do his work. I hate taking in front of crowds but in India I didn’t really have problem once I did it a couple of times. I really enjoyed being able to share with people about how God changed by life about 20 years ago and can do the same for them. When you are sharing you have this connect with someone and you can see it in their face they are understanding what you are talking and want to be saved. There really aren’t words to describe the feeling but in at the end of sharing when they accept God has there one true God. You know why you came on the trip and suffered through 3 days of flying in seat you don’t fit into very well.

My biggest struggle before going was trying to figure out what to do with my life and trying to figure out God will which neither has been clear to me until this trip. One day I got paired with Julius, he had some really good advice and life lessons for me. One was about trying to figure out God will. He said that “God’s will is your will because you if are saved and trying to do God’s will then your will and desire will be the same.” He said quit trying to figure out God will and go do what will make you happy because that will be God’s will. I have to say that easier said than done. What makes me happy? What could I see myself doing for the rest of life? Where am I supposed to be? All good question but I don’t have an answer for them. I do know that God has called to me go telling the world about his wonderful love and free gift of eternal life. Before this trip I truly despised this question “if you could do(be) anything what would you do(be)?” I now have the answer I would go tell the world about God so they can have eternal life. I have a few things that stop me from being able to do that. The biggest is my student loans; I don’t think that I am ever going to get rid of them. The other is that I really want to get married and have a family in the states.

The one thing that I do know is that working in office in the states doing some meaningless job is not going to make me happy. My dream or will is that God would give me a family(husband and children) in the states that I get to take care of most of the time but than opportunity to go on Mission trip about 4 times a year. When it comes down to it the only things that matter in life is God, Family, friends, and sharing with people God’s free gift of eternal life. Basically I’ve figured out what I want to do with my life, I am just not sure how to make it happen.