Change...

so there are many reason why i moved home but one has been on my mind for a while is church. i can say that for the past 5 years i haven't gone to a church on a regular basic. in college i just went with roommates and sometime friends. i never felt at home in these churches and i think that mostly because i never let myself get involved or met the people in the church. it was my own fault because why get involved with you know you won't be sticking around. while in chicago i visited some churches but i normal went with jewels to her church which i really liked. it was much different from my church which is really small and the music needs some help. we don't really have anything for young people in our church.

sitting in church one sunday and i knew that i need to go home and make some changes in our church and start getting involved. in order for me to live in tulsa i need to realize that i wanted to live here so i need to move away somewhere. in order to want to live in tulsa and be content here. now that i want to live here and get involved in things i am glad to be back. its something that God has been teaching me, so since i have been back i am busy getting things changed.

we met for the first time last night to see if we can get young people in the church who are going leave or have left and see if we can get them back. we are hopeful that things will get better and change. we also need to see what we can do about the music but its hard when almost everyone is not musical talented. i think that getting the music changed is going to take alot more so for know i am working on making sure the young adults don't leave.

can't decide anything...

so i have been home for 2 weeks today and still have no ideas what kind of job i want. i am pretty much sick of jobs i find that just get me by with paying the bills. i want a job that has to with international business, also is a challenge and learn something. all jobs that i have applied to i would like but i don't hear back from them plus all companies are confidential so i have no way of contacting them.

so all this is to say that i look for job online and in the newspaper. nothing has really got my attention really. i can't bring myself to look really hard and find one because the truth is i am pretty happy to be home and doing what i want like sleeping in, working out and spending time with family and friends. i am also just waiting for some kind of passion/drive for something i want to do. i also need to be getting paid enough. i worked at the tribune and basically did the work of 5 people was not getting paid enough. i apply for jobs that i would consider good paying and really want to stuck it out until i get one but my money is running out. i need to buy a car and once i do that all my money is gone. if i didn't buy the car yet i could survive another month without getting a job.

so really i can do anything i want but i still can't figure it out. how do you get into a position that you would like but you don't really have the experience they are looking for but you know you could so the job? i am really bad at selling myself to companies. i know that whoever finally does hire me with not be disappointed because anyone i have ever worked for either didn't want to me to leave or wanted to hire me. how do i let companies see what an asset i would be?

home sweet home...

i finally have made it home after spending almost a week with juile, packing and clean my apartment all day, heading to Minnesota for the weekend filled with a wedding and family gathering. i am back to good ol' tulsa.

i am glad to be back and was suprised to get a call from emily that she is moving home as well this weekend. so i will have a non-married friend to do things with. i am pretty excited about it and we are going to siloam this weekend to see friends.

now that i am back i really need a job. i get reminded everyday by my parents. how can you get a job that fast i just got back 2 days ago. i just want a job that i will enjoy that i don't mind get up in the morning going to. jobs are not that easy to come by this days so i will probalbly get a temp job or something like it. if anyone has job that i might like let me know...

locked out...

our keys for the front door quite working about 2 months ago. we where suppose to get a new lock but it never happened. what's weird about our keys not working is that boys that live upstairs theirs still do. so needles to say we tend to get locked out alot. its usually not that big of deal make a phone call and someone comes and lets you in. that was until today. i was cleaning/packing around the house and doing something around the front door. then i saw on our porch a flyer for something. so i went to pick it up to throw in the trash because we get about one everyday from restaurants. nobody else will pick them up and they would just sit there. so not wanting to has it sit there i went to pick it up. well as i exiting the house i heard the door kind of close but i didn't think it was that hard but it was i got locked out. normal i have my phone so i can call but no such luck and nobody was home. amy had left just about 5 mins earlier and kellie was off at the airport to pick up my cousin bree and mark. i didn't have any shoes so i could really go anywhere and then on top of that i don't have any ones number memorized besides my family and they were in tulsa. they wouldn't be much help. i sat there waiting for kellie to return hoping she had someone number to call. i sat there about an hour listen to the neighbors talking about things. it was half spanish/english. finally they arrive but one to find out kellie doesn't have any ones number. mark wants to know if an windows are open. well, yes almost everyone in the house. we try the front ones but it doesn't work. ones on the side of the house did. he had to stand on the fence between the two house and then move the screen up and climb through the window. it was a good thing he was there because i have no idea what we would have done. we also realized how easy it would be for someone to break in. good things we only have a week left then we are gone.

tomorrow is my last day at the tribune and i have been in such a good mood. i have been all week. apparently i don't quite smiling. man does it feel good. i would say that it has been awhile since i was excited about something. i miss that feeling. thats one reason i think it good that i am leaving, just to be happy about life again.

excitiment for the afternoon...

sitting in my living room watching the olympics and i hear this scream. i look out the window and this women has fallen out of the car. she is laying half in the car and half on the street. she is rather heavy set and probably in her early 60s. she was with her husband and another man but they weren't helping her up she just laid in the street. i know it was her husband because there a swinging bench that sits in their yard that they like to sit on at night and watch the street. anyways her husband goes inside and comes back a little later. about 10mins. pass and then ambulance shows up. they help her up and off to the hospital because it looks like she hurt her ankle. after they get her up she try to walk but can't really. i was wondering why they didn't just help her up because she really didn't look hurt and about 10 cars drove by all wondering what was going on trying not to hit her.

at first i was like get up and stop laying in the road. then i thought man i hope that i never get that heavy that i can't get myself up when i fall. i feel like experiences like that make you realize you need to change your diet and get healthy. i hope that she ends up fine and i see her back sitting on her bench. she is going to be pretty sore tomorrow.

my last saturday...

i woke up for the last time on a saturday at 5am for work. i am so happy that i don't have to get up at 5 anymore on saturday. i am pretty sure that everyone at work realized hope excited i was because i might have mention it once or twice. as much as i complained about working at the tribune i really didn't mind it that much. i just didn't like getting up so early and working saturday mornings. i do like the people and it seems now that i leaving i have become friends with a couple if them. its kind of funny i have been here a year and trying to find friends and have been pretty unsuccessful. its finally happening but i am sad to say i still will not be sticking around. i will survive and try not to cry to hard about it.

i need to be packing but have no boxes. i need a car to go get some but none of my roommates are around. i guess i will have to wait until monday and see if i can get some. i will just have to settle for watching the olympics.

i never been that big into watching olympics until this year. i actually know what going on and could have a real conversation with somebody about it. i also keep up with current events which includes me watching the news, listening to the radio and reading a newspaper which is something that i never thought i would do. i am pretty impressed with myself and glad that i actually want to read, listen and watch so i know whats going on. i think it has a little to do with not living at home and having my father around to inform me on current events. i have to do it myself. gosh... growing up can be difficult you have to learn things on your own.

only 2 weeks left...

i am ready to leave. some might think that moving back to tulsa from chicago is not very exciting but i can't wait. after living in chicago for a year and my different experiences. i am ready for my family and friends. i am ready to drink a cup of tea and be home. to enjoy having a yard to swim, play basketball and mowing the lawn. to exercise without have millions of people driving by and watch you. i have been ready to leave for a couple of months now but since its almost time its has been flying by. which means that i have been enjoying myself and making the best of my time left. for the past 4 months i think that i have been counting down and it been going slowly. i don't regard moving to chicago. but i am still trying to figure things out. i never know what to tell people when they asked why i moved here in the first place. the only reason is i wanted to live in a big city and chicago seemed like the perfect one. it has been good i have learned things about myself which i would not have if i stayed at home and i appreciate tulsa alot more. one thing that i learned is i loathed living by myself. i need to have people around. most people say i am going to miss it chicago but i don't think so i have experienced it and i am done. there are a couple of things that i will miss...
-weekend at jewels
-biking to work
-movies in the park
-people i work with
other then that i really can't think of anything else. things that i look forward to are...
-not getting up for work at 5am
-exercising
-my family
-having a car
-getting a new job
-going to my church
-friends
-swimming in my pool
-have a closet that i can actually see my clothes in
-having a yard
-saving money
-not working on saturday
-having conversation face to face with friends/family