bored...

ever since i returned home and been back at work something hasn't been right. its just not the same and i think i finally figured it out. i am bored with my life and what i do. i don't really care for my job that much, it pays the bills. i do like the people i work with but its just not enough anymore. i need something else, i need to be making a different and actually do something with my life. if only i could figure out what that is. this is what i have the hardest time deciding what i want to do. i have gotten taste what it would be like to be a missionary which is something i have always wanted to do. its difficult but one you start telling people that God loves them and wants to have relationship with them it gets easier. when they truly understand what your saying its an amazing feeling. know i think this is something that i could actually do, well once my loans are payed off which will be awhile. i need a change in life something that makes we feel like i am making a different in peoples life and what better way to do that then share with them about Jesus Christ. if i could this oversea that would be wonderful.

Following God

The past couple of weeks I have been in Romania I have felt God speaking to me. I have never really felt it as much as I did well I was there. Usually when I can't decide on something I think God is there telling me which to choose and go with it. Going to Romania I knew that I was doing God's will and what he wanted me to go. That was an amazing feeling. After my trip to Jordan last year I heard that the church was going to go to Romania I thought I would love to go but I won't. It scared me to much. God didn't really want me to do into people home and tell them about Jesus. I couldn't do that. I am the type of person that I have you into my home and I will take care and show you God's love that way by my action. I never felt like I had way with words. So I made other plans on where I wanted to go. Then when that wasn't going to happen God said I wanted you to go to Romania why won't you listen to me. I said God if you get me the money then I will go. You really don't make deals with God because he always win. When in 2 weeks I had all the money that I need to go. I prepared myself to go. God an amazing God and he knows what you can handle and sometime you forget that. I was really worried because I thought I would have to do alot of speaking or preaching parts and I had no idea what I was suppose to say. Plus I didn't really know what I was suppose to tell people when we go into the homes. It started off rough week getting use to what to say but by the end of week I was really getting this and thought I can do this its not a big deal. To help me through the first couple of days God gave me the Verse from 1 Corinthians 2:4-5 "my message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of Spirits power, so that your faith might not rest on human wisdom, but on God's power." He also gave me Hagen who has done many of these type of trips to learn from and go with me into the villages. After the trip I had one of ladies that went with me ask did you feel like you were in the middle of God's hand with him taking care of you. Yes, that exactly how i felt. God had everything planned out since he told me about a year ago he wanted me to go, I just wouldn't listen. On our drive up to Iasi the city we would be working in I was put with a different person because the churches I was suppose to work with didn't have that many visit. Then they end up backing out because of new leadership in the church. The churches that I got put with had 150 visit schedule. They need more people to help then just one person. Plus the people I meet and got to work with all week was gift from God. God showed me things that I had been trying hide or not acknowledge for awhile. It felt so wonderful to be in his will and doing what he told me he wanted to do rather then running from it. I have waiting for awhile for things to change and figure out what my next step is going to be. I could feel God telling me just a little bit longer and I will show you what to do next. So I am waiting and willing to see were God is leading me.

what do you thinks make people ambitious? what makes people want to be known? like if you hear there name you automatically associate them with some big accomplishment that they have done in their life. they have a passion for something and then go out there and figure out how to become famous in that area. there are many different types of this like making a historical find, becoming a CEO of company, being the president, the mayor of big city, caring for the poor and many more examples of ambitious people.

people that are ambitious i tend to think are people that had hard childhood and are trying to make a better life. they work really hard and have goals to make a name for themselves and so something great. i realize they are not only people that accomplish great things but you have to have some event in your life that makes you want to accomplish something amazing.

i struggle with finding something that i am ambitious about. i have no idea what to do with myself sometime. i have passion for some things but i don’t how to make my mark on world. i don’t want to become famous or leader of company. i just want to have a nice life were i am able to travel and live a comfortable life. my only real passion is to travel and see other countries just to experience them. the only one that would benefit on that is me. it a rather selves passion, it’s not like i was to change the world. i just want to see it.

i have pretty easy life. i have don't have tons of money but i away have gotten what i want/need or made due. i have been able to do traveling in the US. sometime i wish i had ambition of something that i wanted to accomplish to make my name known.

my obsession...

i am obsessed with twilight saga books. i can't put them done. i never thought that would happen. i didn't really want to read them at first, thinks i wouldn't really like them. because there about vampire and werewolves i like books about real life. i can't put the books down. i read the first two in one week and i have to go buy the other two today. so that i can read them this weekend. needless to say my parents aren't very happy because all i do is read and i don't really help much right know. i don't know what it is about them but i can't stop reading them. that's all i have done the last week is eat, sleep, work and read, every chance i get.

i think its kind of funny that i like them so much. for one thing they are for teenager, i am 25. also because everyone else in the world pretty much loves them. i usually a couple years behind on fads. it take me awhile to get use to them and actually like them. by that time they aren't as cool anymore. which is not a big deal because then its cheaper to buy/get. i can't wait for lunch today to go buy the next book. whats going to happen to bella and edward...

white trash...

usually for the forth of july we spend it in michigan but my year my cousin got married so we where there the week before and then left for minnesota to see grandma. its was not the same. in michigan my aunt and uncle live on the lake so we get to watch fireworks on the lake from a neighbor of there, its the best firework show around. not this year, i missed it and being with family.
this 4th of july i got the privilege of going to valleyfair which is an amusement parks in minnesota. my cousin work there so we got in for free. i recommend going to an amusement parks if you ever want to feel trashy. my goodness the things people wear. its one thing if you are small and wear short shorts but when you a big girl and you butt is hanging out, not attractive at all. boobs everywhere coming out. needless to say it was fun riding the ride but it was interesting to watch people and what they wore. how they could even think that what they were wearing looked good. gross...

boot camp...

jordan made it through boot camp and graduated. which is pretty good for him since his training instructed "TI" had it out for him since the beginning all because he wrote his family a letter describing her to us. she women, mexican and mean. she didn't like that so much so made his pay for his 8 weeks. for the record she is not mexican apparently but looking at her you would know that. she is really short like 5'0 where jordan is 6'8 and smiles to much. he learned to not talk and made it through didn't get recycled

watching him march was really cool. he had to be so serious and in sync with his squad they did a really good job. he graduated to an airman. we are so proud of him. we mainly had to stay on base for our free time with him and all he wanted to do was eat and see the base since he had only been allowed on like two streets. ones they had to practice marching on.

a couple days before we came he received a note that he had oral surg. he was thinking it for his wisdom teeth since he never had his pulled but wrong. during his medical exam they had found a growth on his jaw bone. he was to have surg for it. they decided to wait until after grad and to talk to mom and dad about it. he did have the surg tuesday and he is recovering and doing well. mom and dad stayed long to make sure he was in and take care of him. we should find out soon what the growth is hopefully nothing serious. he is missing mom because they don't take care as good as her.

pepe le pew...

my pepe which is my puppy got to go to work with me last week. he the cutest little thing. i mean that because i dint like animals but i like my pepe. he had to come because he was going to get his shots after work. i was going to leave him in the car for day. it was cool raining day and he would have been fine in the car but he only 4 months old and not use to being alone all day. he usually has izzy and annabell to play with.

i was a work for an hour and said something about having my puppy in the car. the nurse said that i should bring him into her office. so i went to get him and he was never happier to have seen me. mind you it had been raining and he was in the car and not enjoying it at all. he was more then happy to go inside with me. i couldn't let my boss or the head boss know that he was inside or i would get in trouble.

he was not going to stay in the office unless i was there. he would start whining if he couldn't see me. so he sat under my desk all day. he was very good boy. he didn't make a sound unless i wasn't sit there. i had to go bathroom once and he howled really loud. all was good except my boss came by couple of times that day so we had to to be careful. it was funny everyone would get scared afraid he would starting whining. he didn't. i made it out with out anyone really knowing he was there.

i get an hour for lunch and was i was praying it would not be raining so we could play and get rid of some energy. so he would sleep the afternoon away. at my office we have a big pond in the back. it has a path that you can walk or run. we were on your second time around the farthest you could be from the car and it starts pouring on us. we had to run back and we were soaked. i pretty much felt like to smelled like a wet dog all afternoon. good fun bring you dog to work on a raining day.

off to get his shots and i was going to put him on the scale to see how much he weighted and he started freaking out and peeing everwhere. getting me all wet. he didn't want to be set on the ground. but other then that he didn't even realize that he had a shot. he justed wonders why i made him come with me all day. i also blame the outburst on a big dog that was close by on the floor. he doesn't like big dogs. they scare him since he only 5.5 pds.