i went to siloam this weekend. i love getting to see friends. hangout out at the cafe where you get to see people that you might not normal see. going to silaom just seems welcoming. staying up way to late exceptionally when you been up since 5am. getting to sleep away most of the morning. just sitting around and having good conversations. i do miss friends and being all together in one place.
my little adventure this weekend was i was getting ready to leave to come home when i realized that my keys were in my purse in my locked car. i have never locked myself out of the my car before. natalie and i went to check and make sure all doors where locked for sure. of course they were. i thought that we could break into my car because the window don't go in to the door. the glass in the top of the door. so we just pulled the glass back stuck a hanger down there and open the door. we did that all in about 10 mins. i would that was pretty fast and saved myself money not having to call a locksmith.
one more thing i just want to let you guys know that we have such a faithful God. i might not know what i am going to be doing with my life but i do know that God is always right beside me helping me find the way. he has away proved away when i want things to happen or need something. this weekend while driving to and from siloam i was remind of this by something really small. my speedometer don't work in my car most of the time. which never works very often this days. which is not good but if you go with the traffic in town your pretty much fine. its a little hard when you are driving on the highway and theirs no other cars around. the 2 times that i have been to siloam my speedometer has work the whole way. i don't know if you realize how amazing that is. every time i go i say a quick pray that it would work and it does. it brings to mind that scripture that talks about "how God is faithful in the little things and how much more he will be the big things." i continue to wait and see what God has in store for my life.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Holidays...
i just love the holidays. getting to decorate the house for christmas after thanksgiving is my favorite. this year i even get a little tree upstairs, which is nice because i didn't even get to have tree last year living in chicago.
i really need it to snow then it would really feel like christmas. i will have to wait until we go to minnesota probably but we will see because we might get some monday. i love the smell of the cookies cooking and fire in the fireplace. just the warmth of being home because last year i didn't get to be here. it just didn't feel like christmas as much.
tonight i had friends over and cooked them my favorite meal which was really fun. i miss thursday night dinner and monday night tea. we did both tonight and it was really fun. i think i should start doing it more often.
i love being home...
i really need it to snow then it would really feel like christmas. i will have to wait until we go to minnesota probably but we will see because we might get some monday. i love the smell of the cookies cooking and fire in the fireplace. just the warmth of being home because last year i didn't get to be here. it just didn't feel like christmas as much.
tonight i had friends over and cooked them my favorite meal which was really fun. i miss thursday night dinner and monday night tea. we did both tonight and it was really fun. i think i should start doing it more often.
i love being home...
Thursday, November 27, 2008
my new passion...
i have been reading alot since i got home. my books recently have been about respect for yourself/finding meaning in life. which has included reading the feminine mystique which i found fascinating. my conclusion after reading many different books is you want what you can't/don't have. it has also made me what to start volunteering places with young girls. come the new year if i have decide to stay in tulsa will start volunteering somewhere or places. not sure what exactly i am looking into it. here's some quote that i really like from the books...
the only way for a woman, as for a man, to find herself, to know herself as a person, it by creative work of her own. there is no other way. but a job, any job, is not the answer-in fact, can be part of a trap. women who do not look for jobs equal to their actual capacity, who do not let themselves develop the lifetime interests and goals which require serious education and training, who take a job at 20 or 40 to "help out at home" or just to kill time, are walking almost as surely as the ones who stay inside the housewife trap, to a nonexistent future.
when society asks so little of women every women has to listen to her own inner voice to find her identity in the changing world. she must create, out of her own needs and abilities, a new life plan, fitting in the love and children, and home that has defined femininity in the past with the work toward a greater purpose that shapes the future.
only when woman are permitted to use their full strength, to grow to their full capacities, can the feminine mystique be shattered and the progressive dehumanization of their children but stopped and most women can no longer use their full strength, grown to their full human capacity as housewives.
it is only when a human being faces squarely the fact that he can forfeit his own life, that he becomes truly aware of himself and begins to take his existence seriously.
it is frightening when a woman finally realizes that there is no answer to the question "who am i" except the voice inside herself.
student with professional ambitions plan to marry, but marriage is for them an activity in which they will voluntarily choose to participate rather then something that is necessary for any sense of personal identity. such students have a clear sense of direction, a greater degree of Independence and self-confidence then most. they may be engaged or deeply in love but they do not feel they must sacrifice their own individualities or their careers ambitions if they wish to marry.
sometimes it comes in the shape of a seasons and sometimes inspiration is veiled in another individual. someone who looks deep into your eyes and dares you to dream, to hope, to live.
faith is deliberate confidence in the character of God whose ways you may not understand at the time.
memory is a way of holding on to the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose.
all things in life-my work, money, body, relationship are tools for God's kingdom. they are important part of life, but my heart is not tied to them. being content is saying to God, "this is what you have for me, and i will be ok with that because i know you will ultimately use it to teach me and work toward your purpose in the world.
one can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar-helen keller
you were given life, it is your duty to find something beautiful within life, no matter how slight.
faith is belief in what you cannot see or prove or touch. faith is walking face-first and full-speed into the dark. if we truly knew all the answers in advance as to the meaning of life and nature of God and the destiny of our souls, our belief would not be a leap of faith and it would not be a courageous act of humanity, it would just be a prudent insurance policy.
the only way for a woman, as for a man, to find herself, to know herself as a person, it by creative work of her own. there is no other way. but a job, any job, is not the answer-in fact, can be part of a trap. women who do not look for jobs equal to their actual capacity, who do not let themselves develop the lifetime interests and goals which require serious education and training, who take a job at 20 or 40 to "help out at home" or just to kill time, are walking almost as surely as the ones who stay inside the housewife trap, to a nonexistent future.
when society asks so little of women every women has to listen to her own inner voice to find her identity in the changing world. she must create, out of her own needs and abilities, a new life plan, fitting in the love and children, and home that has defined femininity in the past with the work toward a greater purpose that shapes the future.
only when woman are permitted to use their full strength, to grow to their full capacities, can the feminine mystique be shattered and the progressive dehumanization of their children but stopped and most women can no longer use their full strength, grown to their full human capacity as housewives.
it is only when a human being faces squarely the fact that he can forfeit his own life, that he becomes truly aware of himself and begins to take his existence seriously.
it is frightening when a woman finally realizes that there is no answer to the question "who am i" except the voice inside herself.
student with professional ambitions plan to marry, but marriage is for them an activity in which they will voluntarily choose to participate rather then something that is necessary for any sense of personal identity. such students have a clear sense of direction, a greater degree of Independence and self-confidence then most. they may be engaged or deeply in love but they do not feel they must sacrifice their own individualities or their careers ambitions if they wish to marry.
sometimes it comes in the shape of a seasons and sometimes inspiration is veiled in another individual. someone who looks deep into your eyes and dares you to dream, to hope, to live.
faith is deliberate confidence in the character of God whose ways you may not understand at the time.
memory is a way of holding on to the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose.
all things in life-my work, money, body, relationship are tools for God's kingdom. they are important part of life, but my heart is not tied to them. being content is saying to God, "this is what you have for me, and i will be ok with that because i know you will ultimately use it to teach me and work toward your purpose in the world.
one can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar-helen keller
you were given life, it is your duty to find something beautiful within life, no matter how slight.
faith is belief in what you cannot see or prove or touch. faith is walking face-first and full-speed into the dark. if we truly knew all the answers in advance as to the meaning of life and nature of God and the destiny of our souls, our belief would not be a leap of faith and it would not be a courageous act of humanity, it would just be a prudent insurance policy.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
90 years...
this weekend i got to celebrate my grandma 90th birthday. it was great that we were able to go because its far for a weekend trip but when i started my new job i informed them i need to go. i am glad that i did. i was the lucky one that got to stay with her in her apartment. which was good but i didn't get much sleep. she starts getting up around 4am to go to the bathroom. i was there to keep an eye on her and let my aunts relax a little. she has fallen twice recently and not doing so good.
her birthday was a day of rejoicing over what a great life she has had. we had old picture from back in the day of everyone. it was funny to see dad has a kid. they even played a song that was popular back in the day and made her dance. she didn't remember the song, plus she wasn't aloud to dance in her day. we took photos of all the kids, grandkids, great-grandkids, and in-laws. what was also surprising is that out of 71 of us there are 60 were there pretty good.
it was really great to spend time with her but it also hard because she kept telling me that after this weekend she would like to go to heaven. because she had nothing else to live for, she has had good long life and is ready to go. plus once i left she would be all alone and she hates being alone. my grandpa passed away about 8 years ago. she has been ready ever since to be with him again. she is almost blind so she can't really do anything because we are worried she might hurt her self. she keeps telling me she no use to anyone any more because no one lets her do anything. one thing she never wanted to happen was to be blind and so it has been really hard on her over the years as her eyes gets worse. its hard because i know she would be happy to just go but i need her to stick around a little bit longer.
i realize that she doesn't like being alone she had 10 kids. so she is use to always having people around. growing up we spend every christmas at her house being feed the whole time and hanging out with family. she is the best cook and is always baking something for groups of people. so when she started going blind it was really hard for her because she couldn't cook anymore. now all she can do is sit around and talk to people which, makes her feel useless.
i think that she is an amazing woman. having raised 10 kids and are all successful people. she is the best cook. a woman of faith that keeps her strong through everything that life brings. has traveled many places that I hope to one day see. her only worries is that her family has salvation so she can see them again one day.
her birthday was a day of rejoicing over what a great life she has had. we had old picture from back in the day of everyone. it was funny to see dad has a kid. they even played a song that was popular back in the day and made her dance. she didn't remember the song, plus she wasn't aloud to dance in her day. we took photos of all the kids, grandkids, great-grandkids, and in-laws. what was also surprising is that out of 71 of us there are 60 were there pretty good.
it was really great to spend time with her but it also hard because she kept telling me that after this weekend she would like to go to heaven. because she had nothing else to live for, she has had good long life and is ready to go. plus once i left she would be all alone and she hates being alone. my grandpa passed away about 8 years ago. she has been ready ever since to be with him again. she is almost blind so she can't really do anything because we are worried she might hurt her self. she keeps telling me she no use to anyone any more because no one lets her do anything. one thing she never wanted to happen was to be blind and so it has been really hard on her over the years as her eyes gets worse. its hard because i know she would be happy to just go but i need her to stick around a little bit longer.
i realize that she doesn't like being alone she had 10 kids. so she is use to always having people around. growing up we spend every christmas at her house being feed the whole time and hanging out with family. she is the best cook and is always baking something for groups of people. so when she started going blind it was really hard for her because she couldn't cook anymore. now all she can do is sit around and talk to people which, makes her feel useless.
i think that she is an amazing woman. having raised 10 kids and are all successful people. she is the best cook. a woman of faith that keeps her strong through everything that life brings. has traveled many places that I hope to one day see. her only worries is that her family has salvation so she can see them again one day.
Monday, October 20, 2008
my first accident..
driving home from work today and i rear ended this guy in a truck. needless to say i didn't hurt his truck at all but bend my hood some. he was really nice about it and making sure everything was fine with my car and he didn't want my insurance or anything. which was really nice because it was not his fault as all. he was afraid that i really hurt my car because he was smelling something which he thought was my raider but it was not.
couple things about my car its a neon that was given to me and most of time the gages don't work. i have an oil leak as well. so i have to put oil in every week. i am sure that is what he was smelling. what was really exciting was about 2 weeks i was driving and the clock came on. so i thought, does that mean the radio will work? guess what? it did. i was so excited because i love listening to music and my father informed me that i had no reason to drive his car anymore because i could listen to music. well today after work got in my car and nothing electric was working that was until i hit the guy and everything started working. my music blasting and gages working.
don't worry i am fine. i will see tomorrow what really wrong with me. i think my neck is going to be sore because i am slowly starting to feel it. you would like that i would now how to drive in traffic because it not really bad in tulsa compared to chicago.
couple things about my car its a neon that was given to me and most of time the gages don't work. i have an oil leak as well. so i have to put oil in every week. i am sure that is what he was smelling. what was really exciting was about 2 weeks i was driving and the clock came on. so i thought, does that mean the radio will work? guess what? it did. i was so excited because i love listening to music and my father informed me that i had no reason to drive his car anymore because i could listen to music. well today after work got in my car and nothing electric was working that was until i hit the guy and everything started working. my music blasting and gages working.
don't worry i am fine. i will see tomorrow what really wrong with me. i think my neck is going to be sore because i am slowly starting to feel it. you would like that i would now how to drive in traffic because it not really bad in tulsa compared to chicago.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
wednesday morning...
i am ready for work and i walk downstairs to fix breakfast where my parents are sitting there eating. i ask if my outfit is alright to wear to work? my mother always tells me if i am dressy enough. my father comments you need different shoes. then processed to say i can't wait to see what you wear for halloween. he thinks I am wearing a custom. what? then my brother wakes up as i am leaving the house he ask what are you wearing?
i didn't realize that what i was wearing was so crazy but i found out. my outfit was gray skirt with black legging, white shirt with gray strips, maroon shoes, scarf because it was getting cold out and it was new and I have been waiting to wear it and a blue cardigan. it all went together in some way so i thought. went to work no one said anything about it.
later that night i am at church and bible study was about to begin and an older gentlemen made a comment about me wearing a scarf and how's its not that cold out there started making comments about my outfit. well my father sitting next to me and inform everyone that i dress that way because i lived in chicago and that he can't wait to see what i am going to wear for halloween. thanks dad. i think that older people just don't know what to think about what people wear these days. i am usually the person that matches a little to much so i am trying to break that some but everything usually still matches. when i worked at the tribune a co-worker would also try to figure out what color of shoes i was wearing because they usually matched my cardigan or accessories. chicago i guess has changed my style a little bit because i don't match so much anymore and my family doesn't know how to handle it.
i didn't realize that what i was wearing was so crazy but i found out. my outfit was gray skirt with black legging, white shirt with gray strips, maroon shoes, scarf because it was getting cold out and it was new and I have been waiting to wear it and a blue cardigan. it all went together in some way so i thought. went to work no one said anything about it.
later that night i am at church and bible study was about to begin and an older gentlemen made a comment about me wearing a scarf and how's its not that cold out there started making comments about my outfit. well my father sitting next to me and inform everyone that i dress that way because i lived in chicago and that he can't wait to see what i am going to wear for halloween. thanks dad. i think that older people just don't know what to think about what people wear these days. i am usually the person that matches a little to much so i am trying to break that some but everything usually still matches. when i worked at the tribune a co-worker would also try to figure out what color of shoes i was wearing because they usually matched my cardigan or accessories. chicago i guess has changed my style a little bit because i don't match so much anymore and my family doesn't know how to handle it.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
end of freedom...
tomorrow is my first day at my new job working for a urological specialist. i will be scheduling people for appointment. i am not super excited about starting but it will be good to have money again. i might end up liking the job i just don't have any real expectation for the job. i haven't been working for over a month and it has been really nice. i like sleeping in this days and not setting an alarm. which i am sure is because for the last year i have been getting up at 5am to go to work. i am really excited that i don't have to do that anymore. 8am sounds really good but a little early still i am just not ready to be getting up that early yet.
so for my last day of freedom i slept in. eat breakfast. read for a while. met mom for her lunch break to do shopping. watched a movie. made dinner and watch tv shows with dad.
since i am not sure this job is what i am wanting i will be looking still. i plan to keep looking in case i find something better that would have to do with my degree. find a job is really not that easy and exceptional for international business. since i found the job through a temp place i have 90 days to try the job out. then after 90 days if they want me and i want to work there. i will become an employee. i think this is nice because if i end up not liking it, then i can find something else.
so for my last day of freedom i slept in. eat breakfast. read for a while. met mom for her lunch break to do shopping. watched a movie. made dinner and watch tv shows with dad.
since i am not sure this job is what i am wanting i will be looking still. i plan to keep looking in case i find something better that would have to do with my degree. find a job is really not that easy and exceptional for international business. since i found the job through a temp place i have 90 days to try the job out. then after 90 days if they want me and i want to work there. i will become an employee. i think this is nice because if i end up not liking it, then i can find something else.
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